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The Woman who Wrote a Letter to God!

T he woman sat with her hands buried in her laps, her concentration held by the Pastor in a tight grip as he took the congregation back on his teaching in summary. It had been a quick but very enlightening service for her and she was almost certain she could feel the spirit of God sitting beside her. Although of course beside her was the man in a grey shirt, who had given her his best wide grin when she had asked if she could sit beside him. He turned to her now and extended his hand as the Pastor said "Look to your neighbor to your left and right and say 'The Peace of the Lord be with this week'". She offered her best smile, "The peace of the Lord be with you this week,'" she returned. "Now let us package a good offering to the Lord our God who is our ultimate provider," the Pastor continued. "The principles of Giving and Receiving have not changed since the beginning of time till now. Our God is the same, yesterday, today and alw
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I Had Sex with my Ex, Do I Regret It?

My ex and I have been apart for about a couple of months , and in all that time we have talked on the pho e, seen each other, gone over and over why we broke, said the expected "I miss yous" and the "I still Love yous" . I even had sex with someone else and told him about it. But that did not deter him when I asked him to come over, like I always do. I was horny. I was needy. Lonely. I did say I wanted to lay low for a while, stay Celibate and not think about men or sex or love. I promised myself i could hold it off, I really believed I could. But becoming celibate isn't for the faint hearted and it isn't a walk in the park either. It seems as though the minute I set the intention to be celibate, save my sexual energy and enjoy my alone time, my entire body began to fire up like Light Bolts were shooting through my skin. I felt horny for days like I have never felt before. I could have easily practiced Sexual Transmutation, used my energy for creati

He Doesn't Deserve You! What to do when You become Needy in Love

It is bad enough to want to be Loved, whats worse is wanting to be loved by someone who almost completely acts like YOU DO NOT matter. And what happens when you begin to desperately need attention from this guy is that he invariably begins to lose interest and treat you like shit some more. You find yourself on the other end of the line, calling him all the time, listening to the ringer loud in your ears as he ignores your calls. You send messages and get no replies. You begin to feel like there is something wrong with you. Who would love you? If he can't see something good about you enough to give you the love you so desperately seek then surely no one else will? The truth is men want what they cannot have and what they can have loses value when they can have it more than enough. If he continually ignores you then he surely doesn't care for you so why should you care for him? I can understand you might be lonely, you need attention, you want to be noticed. These are a

Come Over, Smoke Weed, Have Sex: Giving Up on Love, A Rant

I had to learn to stop looking for acceptance and love and fleeting pleasures on the outside. I realized I was using these things to run away , to hide from what was really eating me inside. I wanted sex, not because I cared for it but because it helped me feel like he cared for me. And I wanted him to care for me , to love me the way I hadn't yet known to Love myself. I wanted to get high , only because it helped me attain a different feeling from what was currently passing through me. I decided that night that I'd had enough. Enough of needing or wanting anything external of me. It was time to learn to love myself. To accept me. To feel the hurt and feel it anyway. To not run away from it. I was done masking it and willing it off by pretending the pain wasn't there. So I stayed in bed and cried. I cried and I prayed and I cried some more. I said "Fuck it! I am going to find out what I need and I am going to give it to me." That night I called him again. I picked

How to Find Your Passion

I have always being a do-it-all do-it-yourself person. A lot of the things I do today I am able to do them simply because sometime in the past I probably had no one to do it for me or could not afford to pay someone else so I had to learn to do it myself. Or perhaps I dabbled into it out of sheer curiosity, and this happens a lot. So I have gone through many years dabbling into this and that and trying my hands on several tasks and skills in the past.  At some point I was juggling three different creative pursuits at a time and I sure can tell you I wasn't fulfilled or exactly happy. I hit a brick wall one year when I absolutely had lost everything. I no longer knew what I was passionate about cause I had become passionate about so many things, I no longer could identify what brought me joy or what I genuinely liked to do. I had no money, I was so stiff broke, I owed rent, I had bills, and I had no food in my kitchen or in my belly. It was a bleak and hard time.  Then I

Why I Stopped Smoking Weed. Not Your typical reasons

I guess I just suddenly realized that my body did not react well to it anymore. I found myself forcing the smoke down to suppress something. I knew I was suppressing something, running away from something, looking for something all at once.  Sometimes I told myself, and I really believed this, that I was smoking the herb to hear myself. Yes to an extent this is true, but the deeper truth is I could hear myself quite well without it. I noticed that when I was high, my mind would spiral out of control with all of these thoughts that would shoot out of me from all corners of my head and I would find myself scribbling and scribbling away, but it never really amounted to much use. But I guess I enjoyed that state of exploring all of these thoughts and finding eureka moments in not-so-eureka moments. I could never work high. Instead I'd spend the time thinking and thinking some more. What really got me was the fact that I was waking up to smoke first thing in the morning. Without a meal,

Want more Money? Here's A Question that Can Change your Life.

What you make in Life would be directly proportional to the weight of your Service to man. But your service to man would be of no good if you cannot serve without thinking of what you'd make. You have to get to that place in your servitude, where you can do it whether or not you would make money. Can you do it for Free? So the question, shouldn't be "How Can I make More Money?" but instead, " How can I be of more Service to Mankind/the world? " When I asked this question, my whole life changed! And it had nothing to do with what I was doing for work at the time, but just 'How Can I serve, and serve better? What could I possibly do to help more people? I realized that in answering the question ' How Can I Serve '  , I had to face the question ' What Do I Have to serve with?' You see your servitude would always go in line with what you have. And long before you serve with what you have physically, say money for charities and expanding your

Your biggest Problem with Money, plus a Quick Fix

Your problem with Money is your constant worrying about money. The reason we keep going back and forth around the subject of Money, is because it is high up there on the list of things that cause us to feel depressed, to feel low, inadequate. To feel like we don't know what we are doing with our lives. You worrying about money, how you are going to survive, pay your rent, pay off debts, all of these is constantly pushing a negative conversation about Money in your mental reality, and this has to be manifested in your physical reality. It is law. What you sow mentally, you reap physically. So how can you not say "I'm Broke", when the reality in fact is that you are broke? How is it possible not to feel the truth of your life. I am not asking that you go into pretend mode and sort of lie to yourself about your situation. What you need to do is write or tell a new positive story about your financial status. Your present reality is as a result of thoughts you had though a